THE RISE AND FALL OF A PROTECTION AGENCY
(May 1995) - Written by Shane Meadows
Lenny Bumlard has ambition.. Currently he's working for a big
boss, transporting bags across town and putting himself at risk
every day with people's possesions.
One day, it dawns on Lenny that he doesn't need all the hassle
that working for somebody else can bring, so, after seeing a banking
advetisement on the TV, Lenny heads off to his local branch to
see if he can start up his own business as a proper protection
Despite being really nervous about it, Lenny can't believe how
easy it all is, and he soon gets all the information he needs
to get started.
On his way home from the bank, Lenny gets into a fight in a public
lavatory after accusing a guy of looking at his dick whilst at
the urinals.. Despite Lenny's hardman image, he is easily over-powered
by his opponent's 'Judo' skills and is left a bit shaken and demoralised
by the whole incident.
After the rather humiliating beating, Lenny goes
into training to build up both his body and his confidence at
the local gym...
"Like a phoenix rising from the ashes of that scrap I had
in the toilets."
With his new found confidence, Lenny hooks up with a potential
client called Eddie Edvud that has a briefcase full of grade A
crack cocaine that needs moving.
With Lenny and Eddie's meeting in full swing at a local cafe,
their discussion is interupted by the arrival of another agency
that want's a word with Lenny.. This is no ordinary agency, this
is the Child Support Agency claiming that Lenny owes £7568.95
in unpaid maintenance payments.
Lenny is caught off guard by this turn of events, and is easily
intimidated by Mike Macreckor from the Child Support Agency.
After the confrontation with Mike, Eddie loses confidence in Lenny,
so he sacks him from the job.. And to add insult to injury, both
Mike and Eddie give Lenny a quick hiding for his troubles.