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(May 1995) - Written by Shane Meadows


Lenny Bumlard has ambition.. Currently he's working for a big boss, transporting bags across town and putting himself at risk every day with people's possesions.
One day, it dawns on Lenny that he doesn't need all the hassle that working for somebody else can bring, so, after seeing a banking advetisement on the TV, Lenny heads off to his local branch to see if he can start up his own business as a proper protection agency.

Despite being really nervous about it, Lenny can't believe how easy it all is, and he soon gets all the information he needs to get started.
On his way home from the bank, Lenny gets into a fight in a public lavatory after accusing a guy of looking at his dick whilst at the urinals.. Despite Lenny's hardman image, he is easily over-powered by his opponent's 'Judo' skills and is left a bit shaken and demoralised by the whole incident.

After the rather humiliating beating, Lenny goes into training to build up both his body and his confidence at the local gym...

"Like a phoenix rising from the ashes of that scrap I had in the toilets."

With his new found confidence, Lenny hooks up with a potential client called Eddie Edvud that has a briefcase full of grade A crack cocaine that needs moving.

With Lenny and Eddie's meeting in full swing at a local cafe, their discussion is interupted by the arrival of another agency that want's a word with Lenny.. This is no ordinary agency, this is the Child Support Agency claiming that Lenny owes £7568.95 in unpaid maintenance payments.
Lenny is caught off guard by this turn of events, and is easily intimidated by Mike Macreckor from the Child Support Agency.
After the confrontation with Mike, Eddie loses confidence in Lenny, so he sacks him from the job.. And to add insult to injury, both Mike and Eddie give Lenny a quick hiding for his troubles.


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Lenny Bumlard
Shane Meadows

Eddie Edvud
Tim Cunningham

Mike Macreckor
Jimmy Hynd

Sandra Preggers
Gina Kyetski

Ellya Bumlard

Ellya Kvetski

Toilet Judo

Iain Swales

Escorted Bird

Tracey Barber

Bad Debt Bird

Karen Anderson

© 2007 Shane Meadows - All Rights Reserved
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